20 positive phrases you can say to your child in the new year

It’s a new year and many of you may be setting goals and resolutions you hope to achieve. If one of your goals is to speak more positively to your child, we’ve created a list of 20 positive phrases you can say to your child this year that will help you knock this off your resolution list.

It may be easy to default to “good job!” when wanting to praise your child but we encourage you to branch out and use various phrases that will boost your child’s self-esteem.

Barbara Heuser, clinical social worker and early intervention specialist at The Warren Center says praise helps your child learn who they are, that they have value, and that the things they do are pleasing to you as the parent. Through praise, your kids will learn they have worth, and will treat themselves and others better.

Research mentioned in the Nurturing Program states that “children with positive self- worth get better grades, are more popular in school, do not get discouraged easily, and generally live productive lives.”

Different types of praise

There are different types of praise, according to Heuser.  For example, “I am so happy you are my daughter and I get to be your mom” is a type of praise that lets your child know they are special just by being alive.  Other types of praise are important, too.  Praise for positive behaviors or working hard on something are a different type of praise.  This type of praise is given for things your child does that you are pleased with. For example, praise for putting their diaper in the trash, praise for offering to share a toy, praise for being persistent while trying to learn to tie a shoe.

Both types of praise are important and will help our kids learn to feel good about themselves.  All of these types of praise are “unconditional.”  Praising your child and adding a condition, such as, “Mommy loves you when you are gentle with your baby brother,” can backfire and make the child feel if they behave badly, Mommy won’t love them anymore, according to Heuser.

Guidelines for giving praise

Heuser shares some guidelines for giving praise appropriately. First, be focused and give your undivided attention on what the child is doing. Move close to the child and get down to their eye level and try to establish eye contact.  Then, gently touch the child and praise them, and maybe follow up with a hug or a big smile.

And last, as a parent, it is important that you model how to accept praise.

“When you get a compliment, accept it.  You are worthy and deserving of a compliment, and so are your kids!” Heuser said.

Here are 20 positive ways you can praise your child:

1. You figured it out.
2. Your help counts.
3. How thoughtful of you.
4. You did that all by yourself.
5. I couldn’t have done this without you.
6. You tried your hardest.
7. Thank you for being so patient.
8. You’re very talented.
9. You set a good example.
10. You are very brave.
11. You finished that in record time.
12. That shows your strength.
13. What a responsible choice.
14. I am thankful that you ___.
15. Keep up the good work.
16. You must have been practicing!
17. Look how happy your friend is when you share/help.
18. You kept going even when it was hard.
19. I see that you look very pleased with your work.
20. I knew you could do it!